Filmmaker Statement

Confession: I had a high school girl-friend. Another confession: I’m gay. (gasp!) This relationship came to its dramatic and inevitable end freshman year of college, when she came to visit in the fall. I waited until the last minute but I eventually came out to her. She cried. I cried. We moved on. The gay-ex-boyfriend is an almost universal experience and the cultural narrative likes to side with him. Rightfully so… But maybe not entirely so… The idea came when a similar (considerably less dramatic) version of what unfolds in the film happened to a long term couple in my hometown friend group. He came out. They broke up. Years later we were at a party and it was clear she had not moved on. This haunted me. We are living in a time where we are forced to look at things as black and white, when it comes to matters around identity. Coming out = good. There isn’t much space for the sticky icky in-between. And what about her? Thus But He's Gay was born.